The Dutch R comes in three regional variants, all acceptable. The uvular R is produced at the back of the throat, similar to French R — a light friction sound made with the uvula. This is the most common variant in the Netherlands, particularly in formal speech and cities. The alveolar R is a tongue-tip trill, like Spanish R — used more in traditional Netherlandic dialects and by older speakers. The tapped R is a single brief contact of the tongue tip against the ridge — common in Flemish Dutch.
For English speakers, the safest R to learn initially is the uvular R since it is the most widely accepted standard. Practice by saying the word “Paris” in French — that uvular quality at the end is what you need. Then move it to the beginning of words: rood, rijden, recht, rustig. The R is particularly prominent in words like grachten (canals) and schrijven (to write) where it clusters with other consonants.
R before a vowel is pronounced fully: rood, rijden. R between vowels: beter, maar — often lightly tapped. R at the end of a word or syllable: ver, door, water — often very lightly produced or nearly silent in informal speech, similar to British English. The degree to which final R is pronounced varies enormously by speaker, region, and register. Rather than aiming for perfection, focus on producing a consistent uvular or tapped R in prominent positions (word initial, before stressed vowels).